It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
