i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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