I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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