i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
