The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
