i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
