Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize