Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
