It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
