Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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