i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just forgot I was standing up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
