i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
