I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
