when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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