she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
