Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
