people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
