Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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