I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
