she was so not down for the gang bang
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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