I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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