Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
