he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
