you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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