Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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