If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize