Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
