i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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