but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
