Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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