ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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