I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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