Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
