I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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