I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
