I must be too annoying 4 u.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
