Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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