I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I met the friendliest cop last night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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