I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
