Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
