Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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