The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
