No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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