He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize