I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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