His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
