Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
