she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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