i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
