Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
