If i come over, it means nothing
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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