capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
