me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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