When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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