WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
