You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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