I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
