Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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You. Win. At. Life.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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