Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
