I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
