Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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