how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
