SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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