if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
only if we run a train.
done.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
