i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
