you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
As shirtless as possible
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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