i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Randomize
